Five Things to Love about the Swanwick Writers' Summer School

I'm just back from the Swanwick Writers' Summer School. Anything that survives 66 years entirely through voluntary effort must have magic ingredients. Magic, as you know, disappears quickly in a puff of smoke, so I resolved to write down what makes Swanwick unique while it was still fresh in my mind. In the event, I had to wait until the power of movement was restored to my body and a semblance of coherent thought returned to my brain. The last afternoon's 'Dregs Party'* on the Hayes Conference Centre lawn, and the unaccustomed exercise of the last night disco, has delayed this post slightly. But here goes:

1. Dancing with a lion. I was relaxing with a small whisky (okay, a large one) after a hard day's workshopping, when the bar began to fill with characters from the Wizard of Oz. Dorothys, Tin Men, Straw Men, the Wizard himself. The people I was chatting with didn't bat an eyelid. I consulted the programme, and saw that 10.45pm was scheduled for the 'Fancy Dress Disco'. I am full of admiration for people who study their programme carefully enough to arrive prepared with a Wicked Witch of the West outfit, a Dorothy wig, or a full lion suit amongst their changes of clothes. Having initially made excuses about my need for an early night, midnight found me twirling the lion around the dance-floor. It was a new experience for me, but then I've led a sheltered life.
2. Heritage puddings. The Hayes Conference Centre provides a marvelous venue, deriving charm from its history, ornamental gardens, and traditional dining facilities. Be careful not to sit at the end of a table, or you may end up trying to serve lunch from tureens and platters to people who are in the middle of a detailed description of the underlying themes of their work-in-progress. But oh, the crumble and custard! The food is a comforting, freshly-cooked reminder of a bygone age. Best not to weigh yourself when you get home.
3. White Badgers. No, not more animal costumes, just a means of identifying guinea-pigs new to the school through the colour of their badge. Not in order to play tricks on them, but so that seasoned Swanickers can be friendly and rescue any lost souls in search of a workshop room. The Summer School also subsidises a number of young writers to attend the school for the first time. Like other first-timers, or White Badgers as they are known, they spend the first day or two wondering if they've made a terrible mistake and hiding away in dark corners. Later in the week, they are to be found improvising plays, sharing their creativity, joining in with the buskers, and providing fresh legs on the disco dance floor.
4. Technology. The Centre has a number of modern workshop and conference rooms, equipped with the latest presentation aids. Xanthe Wells's carefully prepared slides for her first session describing a creative approach to novel writing failed to appear on the screen, despite the intervention of a series of clever people applying a rational approach to problem solving. Xanthe, undaunted, showed us the way to access the hidden, creative, two-thirds of our mind iceberg; the part, in other words, which needs no Powerpoint slides. Later in the week, Robin de Jongh gave a workshop on how to market ebooks. He got our attention by frightening us with some big numbers; the thousands of ebooks being published each week, and the billions of webpages out there trying to attract attention. He did provide reassurance in the form of a cunning formula which I will share with you. Sales = Audience / Competition. The secret is to write about something so unique and obscure that you won't be lost in the depths of page two hundred of a Google search.
5. The age range. Nearly three hundred people attend the school, the youngest being nineteen, and the oldest being ninety or thereabouts. I strayed into the lively birthday party of a young eighty-eight year old called Ravey in a lobby. Imagine the comic potential of a group of around fifty such summer schoolers trying to understand Twitter. Enormous respect to children's writer Karin Backmann who boldly attempted to cross the technology age divide and get Swanickers tweeting each other. The trouble is, someone always asks, "What's it for?" And that's like asking, "What is the meaning of life?" A one hour workshop is insufficient to cover such philosophical questions. This was my second time at Swanwick and again I came away having learnt invaluable lessons from people who have been writing for at least a decade longer than I have. The secret to a long writing life? Keep getting the words down, then edit them carefully. David Hough shared his self-editing method in the most useful two hours of my writing education. I was sure he was speaking just to me, and I suspect everyone in the room felt the same. (Please feel free to point out the errors in this piece through the 'Comments' section below. They are all placed deliberately to test you. I wish.)

Did I say five things to love? There must be at least fifty. I haven't mentioned the opportunities for lakeside meditation; the entertaining evening speakers; the poetry, script writing, and storytelling; or crime writer Simon Hall on stage with only a guitar to preserve his modesty. Next year's Writers Summer School is between the 8th and 15th of August. If you are a writer, young, old, aspiring or experienced, put it in your diary now. A week spent in the company of other writers provides a rich diet of inspiration and a cloak of friendship which will last a whole year of being chained to your writing desk or table.

* The Dregs Party is a means for participants to avoid lugging home half-consumed bottles of wine, whisky, gin etc. Some come to Swanwick well prepared. I'm told the Wicked Witch of the West brought her fridge.

Ten new things I learned at the RNA 2014 Conference

I've returned from the Romantic Novelists Association annual conference, held this year at Harper Adams University in Shropshire, with severe jet lag. And I didn't even fly there. But romance is another country, and exposure to new cultures is stimulating and confusing in equal measure. It will take weeks to digest the rich diet of people, information, and Harper Adams farm-grown food, but here are my first ten observations;

1. The number of men attending the conference (as writers) increased by a hundred per cent over last year, from approx three to approx six. Is there a mutual support group for men writing romance? Maybe the time to form one is now? Get in touch if you thinks so too. Anyway, thanks to the RNA and its female members for making a minority feel so welcome.
2. Unlike the students, the cows, sheep and pigs do not go home for their holidays. The exotic perfumes worn to the fantastic gala dinner on Saturday night were mixed with the pungent aromas of the barn and silage tank. Thanks are due to the livestock, sadly now passed away, who contributed such excellent roast beef, bacon and sausages to the three good meals a day. The veggie food looked good too.
3. It's always hot and sunny at the RNA conference. I base this on only two visits, but I am assured this is the case. 
4. The Aussies have a great attitude. I knew this already from arguing cricket with Erica Hayes on Twitter, but Nikki Logan, President of the Romance Writers of Australia convinced us that the glass is well over half full when it comes to writing and selling great fiction, and was not in the slightest apologetic about a genre which some people feel does not get it's fair respect. Let people think what they want and focus on selling books, said Nikki. Did you think Chemistry was boring? If you want to understand what's going on in readers' brains, it's absolutely bloody fascinating. Sorry if you weren't there, but luckily you can buy her book on the Chemistry of Reading. 
5. 'Writing is easy.' This quote from Jean Fullerton made at the start of her presentation on not losing the plot was said with irony. Jean illustrated (with rainbows) what a complex pattern a good novel should be. If that one hour could be distilled and sipped over the months it usually takes to write a novel, we would all be best-selling authors and no-one would bother to watch TV again because every evening would be spent reading.
6. There will be more agents, publishers and industry types at the conference next year, when it is held in a London university conference centre and not in a farmyard. That is not to disparage Harper Adams University, which is a beautiful venue and has an outdoor swimming pool. Cool. Good old Harper Adams bequeathed his dosh to set it up in 1892, and its graduates have a ninety-six per cent employment rate. Lisa Eveleigh, the one agent who did venture north out of the smoke, was generous with her time and insights. 
7. Kindle Direct Publishing are not the enemy. They can't be, because we drank all their wine, every drop. Self-publishing and ebooks are not a second class carriage on the publication express. This was explored in (at least) two fantastic sessions, the first by Dr Alison Baverstock (with Hazel Gaynor, she of The Girl Who Came Home fame) which was based on Alison's own research into the motivations and demographic of self-publishers; and the second by Ian Skillicorn of Corazon Books, who made it sound easy. The self-publishing, that is, not the self-selling. 
8. Having said that, a good freelance editor and a striking, professional-looking cover are not options to be dispensed with lightly, however limited the budget available. It could be a good time to be a freelance editor like Eleanor Leese .
9. Liz Harris was intelligent and engaging even at nine o'clock on Sunday morning when most people were reaching for the paracetamol. Her session entitled 'If only I'd known - The Path to Publication' came with a chocolate, laughter, and generous sharing of her experience of the year before first publication when she was also trying to research and write the second book in the deal. After the honeymoon excitement of publication, the relationship of the writer with their writing gets tougher.
10. Writers are mostly introverts who are now forced onto the social media - Facebook, Twitter, Blogger - in order to (gulp) build a fan base and publicise their work. The new democracy in publishing means that thousands of titles appear every week. Visibility and sales are harder than ever to achieve. It's a good job the actual writing is so rewarding. Many more great talks and conversations happened at the conference, but I've run out of numbers.

Click here for Shameless enjoyment

The One Percent Theory

We're down to the last eight in the World Cup in Brazil, and so far Mr Nim has been right in his 'predictions'. His contacts in FIFA have obliged with denials of any corruption by players or referees. Mr Nim would argue that it's not corruption anyway. He calls it influence. He explained his theory to Caroline when they first met at Prince Lippi's casino in Trieste. Caroline, a novice at gambling, was curious how Mr Nim managed to win such large sums.

Shameless Corruption

“Surely gambling is all about chance. All the things people gamble on are unpredictable. Otherwise there would be no point.”

She saw the smile disappear briefly from Nim’s face. She wondered if she had revealed her gambling naivety.

“Unpredictability is my enemy. That is what I fight against. To be a successful gambler you must reduce the unpredictable and increase the predictable. Sometimes it is a matter of one percent here or there, but adding together the one percents is enough to tip things in your favour.”

She thought of asking him if he gambled on football, but then remembered his advice about not asking direct questions. She tried to remember some of Robert’s moans about football matches when his team had not done well.

“But surely all sports are full of unexpected events. An important player might be injured in the game; the referee might miss something obvious; the goalkeeper might make a mistake.”

“You are right. And that is why I have a team of analysts to examine every aspect of the game; the players, the managers, the officials, the players’ wives and agents, the qualities of the grass on the pitch, everything you can imagine, and in great detail. Gambling is a war of information and the man with the best information wins. One percent here, one percent there, one percent everywhere.”

“I had no idea. So when you said you have good judgement, you mean you have good information.”

“Both are necessary. Even with good information we can fool ourselves, allow greed to cloud our judgement.”

The waiter appeared carrying clean plates and a silver platter containing a whole skinned sea bass. Caroline stifled a groan at the sight of more food, and helped herself to a piece of the delicate pale flesh. The smile returned to Nim’s face.

“I can see you have had enough to eat. After this, let us return to the tables. Tonight I am feeling lucky.”

“Does your one percent theory work here too?”

“Of course. But I cannot tell you how. If I did, I would have to kill you.” He smiled. She laughed. They drank green tea from fine porcelain bowls.

Extract from Shameless Corruption by Robert Fanshaw

Shameless Corruption and the World Cup

How is the World Cup going for you? Disappointed that England were 'out' even before the last game of the group stages? Horrified by Uruguay biting their way through to the last sixteen? Several of the European teams - Spain, Italy, Croatia - have crashed out early, suggesting that conditions do indeed favour the South and Central American teams.

I'm still here in England while Caroline has gone suspiciously quiet in Rio. The last I heard, Bertrand Cottoneau had promised her tickets for the final at the Maracana Stadium in July. But I was worried when she got involved with a shady character called Mr Nim in Singapore, and traveled with him and his entourage, first class, to Brazil. He must have some kind of hold over her. Why otherwise would she have asked me to bring a million dollars in cash with me when I fly to Brazil? This kind of money movement is beyond my competence, so I phoned Cosimo Baldissi for advice:

“Are you all right, Cosimo? Speak up, I can hardly hear you.”

“I had an accident, Roberto, and it hurts if I laugh or shout.”

“Well this is no laughing matter. I’ve had a peculiar message from Caroline. She says she needs a million dollars urgently.”

“Ah. That much?”

“Is that all you’ve got to say? You know something about it? I know she’s been speaking to you and Bertrand. He’s getting me a ticket for the final.”

“Yes, we’ll all be there. It will be like old times.”

“I hope not. I couldn’t bear a repeat of Copenhagen. Come on Cosimo; tell me what’s going on. Is Caroline in trouble?”

“If I tell you, you will be in danger. For Caroline, the danger is a fate worse than death. For you, just death.” I had to stifle a chuckle at the Italian’s amusing exaggerations.

“I don’t think they give the death penalty for illicit currency movements. I’m sure Caroline has a good reason for needing the money. I just need some advice on how to raise it and how to move it to Brazil.”

“How much has Caroline told you? Did she tell you about my accident?”

“No. She told me about meeting you and Bertrand and going to Brazil via Singapore for a financial directors’ conference. Then she had a problem with her bank account and she used mine to send a lot of money to Bertrand. It was six hundred thousand euros. So why does she need a million dollars now? Caroline’s usually tight with money.”

“She’s trying to help Bertrand. He has many problems. He’s not the same man since Francine left him for New York. And he has to deal with that FIFA man, Cleb Fludder, who promises to retire and then stays on to wreak more havoc. Bertrand says he is destroying the beautiful game, and Cleb thinks Bertrand is after his job. He’s right, of course.”

“I’ve known Caroline to be generous, but not with money. And she doesn’t care about football. It must be something else.”

“Do you know about Caroline’s gambling habit?”

“Sorry Cosimo, Caroline doesn’t gamble. She calculates. You wouldn’t believe the grief she gives me when I bet twenty pounds on the Manchester United score.”

“People change when they are exposed to new experiences. She spent a week with Prince Lippi and picked up a taste for the casino. He introduced her to some high rollers. I expect she needs the money to settle a gambling debt.”

“Impossible. If you think that, you don’t know Caroline. It must be something else. But whatever she needs it for, will you help me?”

“Of course, anything for Caroline. What assets do you have?”

“Assets? Loans, more likely. We don’t even have pensions. Everything’s tied up in the house. We put every penny we had into it and then borrowed a lot more.”

“How much is it worth?”

“Caroline says two million, but she likes to talk it up.”

“You must live in a mansion.”

“No, we live in Surrey. House prices around London are crazy.”

“And the mortgage?”

“Nearly a million.”

“There are companies which will buy a house quickly at a discount. I will email you two names that can be trusted a little bit. Sell the house, and I will help with the transfer of funds. We will need a friendly bank with an operation in Brazil. I will speak to Von Wolfswinkle.” (extract from Shameless Corruption)

For more, and for the result of the World Cup final before it even happens, click below:

eBooks by Robert Fanshaw

 

Light shines on Shameless Corruption

Boom! The day has come. No, not the day of the World Cup final. Not yet, anyway. The day has come when you can read about my wife's involvement with the football authorities and the World Cup final in Brazil, before the final even happens.

"Before it happens?" you ask. "But that's not possible!"

Yes, before it happens. And that is down to the wonder of predictive fiction. Shameless Corruption is a romance set against the background of the World Cup and the corruption in world football. My wife, Caroline, infiltrates a Far East betting syndicate to help some business colleagues, and loses more than just her money. She is fascinated by the syndicate leader, Mr Nim; and he is convinced she is his lucky redhead. I won't give the game away and tell you who wins the final, but if you want to know before anyone else does, or before it even takes place, go to Amazon.co.uk  or to Amazon.com if you are in America and the rest of the world. Or any ebook supplier you like.

"How does it feel, Mr Fanshaw?"

It feels fantastic. I'm talking about the book publication there, not about the prospect of my wife ending up in a Macau brothel. SteameReads, the epublishers, have done a brilliant job as always on the editing and production, and have come up a with a cover which captures the sultry mood, the Chinese influences, the heat of Singapore and Brazil. It's a special day in the life of an author when their new book is sent out into the world. You must let me know what you think of it, even if you just read the free first section on Amazon. Goodreads, Amazon, blog comments (see below), email via the My Wife Caroline website ; however you want.

"This isn't the first time you've written about your wife's exploits, is it?"

Not the first time, and possibly not the last. Caroline says she wants to go into politics when she's achieved all her business goals. If she does, I can imagine she would get a lot of support from her influential European colleagues who played such a part in Shameless Ambition, which was the first book in the series. Shameless Exposure covers events on a remote Scottish island which are indelibly stamped on my mind and which show what can happen when otherwise intelligent people jump aboard the latest cult bandwagon.

"Doesn't writing about the intimate details of your marriage put your relationship under pressure?"

I admit Caroline made me go with her to the marriage guidance clinic earlier this year. I think we are a typical modern couple. Writing about our ups and downs makes no difference to the fact that long hours of work mean that we spend less time together than we would ideally like. The books are fast-paced entertainments in the 'active romance' genre and are for women and men to enjoy, whether for the romance, or the intrigue, or the sex and sport. You will laugh, too, providing you see the funny side of life.

"Excuse me while I download a copy..."

When Fact Collides with Fiction

One problem with writing contemporary fiction is the danger that the fictional world will collide with real events, trumping the outrageous imaginings of the author. This has been happening almost daily in the revelations of corruption FIFA, with the publication of Shameless Corruption only two weeks away.

What is the 'corruption' referred to in the third book in the Shameless series? Corruption in the higher reaches of world football, corruption led by betting syndicates from the East trying to fix results in the build up to the World Cup, and the corruption created by huge amounts of money swilling around the football world. Elements of all these corruptions run through the story of my wife Caroline's attempt to infiltrate a Chinese betting syndicate in Singapore.

Against these unlikely world events, which turn out after all not just to be likely, but probable, there is the much more personal story of how such corruption changes an individual and leads them to behaviour that in other circumstances would be out of character. Caroline learns how to gamble in order to pass herself off as a 'high roller' in the casinos frequented by Mr Nim and his syndicate members. Even someone as hard-headed about money as Caroline can be tempted by the adrenalin thrill of the large wager. She hates losing money, and that only adds to the excitement for her. She believes that the next big win is just around the corner, and loses more than just her money in a world where huge risks are taken for huge rewards.

Is there a conspiracy at the heart of world football? Will money win out, however blatant the corruption just beneath the surface? And will Caroline give Mr Nim the red card and return to her former life as a married business executive, or take the illicit money and run? I have to hold my hands up here and admit I have a vested interested in the outcome.

If, like Caroline, you would like the answers to these questions, you can join her on her roller-coaster ride through the World Cup finals in just a couple of weeks time. Let's face it, the whole thing is bound to be a blast, whether Nim lands his dirty rotten gamble or whether football's governing bodies come clean and admit to fixing their own competition.

Will she or won't she?

I'm not sleeping well. Caroline's in Singapore and says she is not sleeping well either, blaming the heat. Is she worried about what I'm worried about, or worried about something different?

Caroline has been behaving out of character, which psychologists say is either a) a sign of an undiagnosed physical condition or b) a pending relationship breakdown and divorce, aka a new squeeze.

"Of course you're worried," you say. "Any man would be, in your position."

Ah yes, but there's a complicating factor. It has been a lifelong dream of mine to go to the World Cup final. Unfortunately FIFA keep awarding the finals to far-away places like Brazil, Russia and Qatar and not somewhere convenient like England or Germany.

But Caroline bumped into a business acquaintance when she was in Italy recently, who re-introduced her to the European football supremo, Bertrand Cottoneau. And he has promised her two tickets to the final. I'm finding it hard not to put that in large type capitals, bold, and underlined. I'm sure there's a catch, and that's what I'm worried about. That, and pending relationship breakdown etc.

Will she or won't she? Will she get the tickets from Bertrand, and if she does, will it be me who gets the second ticket?

"What is strange about Caroline's behaviour?" you ask. "I reckon you're being paranoid; like men are when they have a dynamic, attractive, successful wife who earns more than they do."

Have I mentioned the gambling? Having nagged me constantly for four years for 'wasting money' on betting on football scores, Caroline has taken a keen interest in learning all the casino games and has been spending her nights with the high-rollers in Singapore. When she could choose a different night out, she went to the Kranji racetrack to back horses. But what is really out of character is that she is losing money. She always makes it. She's a finance director. She hates losing. That's why her rise to the top of Monsaint Medical Instruments has been so meteoric.

You can see why I'm worried now. Whose money is she losing? I know it isn't mine, because I live my life in a balanced cash flow. It comes in, it goes out, balance = zero.

And now she wants me to funnel about half a million euros, borrowed from a Chinese gentleman, to Cottoneau's account. She say's it's very urgent. My suspicions are well and truly aroused. That's an awful lot to pay for two tickets to a football game, even the World Cup final. Now do you understand why I'm not sleeping well?

I will be in a better position to give you the full story in three weeks time when  Shameless Corruption is published by Steam eReads , global publishers of quality ebooks.