Monday, 20 May 2013

Beckam retires - Francine starts playing

A second reaction to the publication of Shameless Ambition has flooded in, this time from Von Wolfswinkle’s wife, Francine Beauregard.

‘When I read the first half of your book I had an urgent need to see Bernard Cottoneau. Fortunately he was in Paris for the spectacle of David Beckham’s final game at Parc des Princes. I tore his clothes off and we made passionate love until 6pm. Then I sobbed onto his hairy chest as I summarised my husband’s infatuation with your wife, Caroline. Bernard was understanding, but then he had to leave for his seat in the box next to Victoria. I stayed in bed and read the second half of the book. Then I soaked in the bath, and relived the special moments I had with Bernard (in my mind).

I walked back to my flat with Pistou and Bisque as night fell. What a consolation Shih Tzus can be. They understand a woman’s heart better than any human, and certainly better than you, Mr Fanshaw. I talked to them as we walked in the grounds of the Tour Eiffel. My thoughts coagulated into certainties which I must communicate to you.

Yes, I will stand beside my husband Herbert in refuting the suggestions of impropriety. It is a fact that he has a lifelong artistic, and innocent, interest in photography. It is also true that I was with him at the Mermaid Club in Copenhagen, though not always in the same lounge.

He is an honourable banker who has ensured the upkeep of my residence in Paris to the highest standards. He is well suited to his new position at the International Monetary Fund. He loves travel and for him New York is only a short flight away. What a pity I am unable to fly due to a condition for which I am receiving regular treatment at the clinic near to Bernard’s apartment.

I have learnt that in life one must be open to new experiences, even those which are not chosen. My visit to the Mermaid Club was my first visit to an establishment of that nature, though to Bernard of course it is quite familiar. I can say my eyes were opened to possibilities I had not previously contemplated, especially in the themed rooms. Whilst it is sad that Herbert will be away for months at a time, I intend to use my free time to explore an aspect of my longings that were previously suppressed. So pass on my thanks to your wife Caroline for inadvertently leading me to pastures new.
F. BR v W.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Who are these people?

The world is divided into voyeurs and exhibitionists... It takes one of each to make a good marriage.

Robert and Caroline Fanshaw are an ambitious young couple trying to make their way in a complex world.

What happens when their private affairs collide with world events and the big issues of our times? Drama, comedy and x-rated scenes.