The Cutting Room Floor

Just need to tie up one or two loose ends arising from the past two weeks. I've been on a Blog Tour around the parallel universe which is the Internet.

Loose end (1). Following the last post's revelation of Caroline doing the ironing, a reader suggests that in the interests of balance and equality I provide a picture of myself doing the ironing. I would love to, but no such picture exists. I will see if I can find another one of C to make up.

Loose end (2). There is a lot of unused material on the cutting room floor, mostly interviews that didn't see the light of day or were cut to shreds. The questions weren't mine, so I'll just give you the answers, and you can work out what the question was.

I love whiskey and dark chocolate. The tastes are both strong, but go together perfectly after a meal. I just finished a bottle of Aberlour and bar of Ghanaian chocolate. Not all in one go, obviously. A love of chocolate is one thing I share with my wife, Caroline. She prefers red wine to whiskey.

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I like to go to work occasionally. We still wear wigs in court in England and when I put the wig on I feel like a different person. Caroline says the same. My passion is Manchester United football club. MU fans are derided in the UK for travelling first class and eating prawn sandwiches, but you’ve got to eat something on the train up to Manchester, right?

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Great question. I love criticism because it’s really helpful when a reader tells you honestly what they think, but it’s still tough when you read a review by a person who didn’t get the humour and thinks bad things about Caroline. The best compliment was a female reader who said “If I didn’t know otherwise, I would have said that Shameless Ambition was written by a woman.” I took that as a compliment because I work hard to understand the female perspective. Living with Caroline, I have to. 

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I’m sure Caroline won’t see this so I can say definitely Scarlett Johannson. The reasons will be obvious to any male readers. Scarlett is such a good name. Seems like I may be too late because she is engaged to a Frenchman and they know all the best restaurants.

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Veuve Cliquot champagne and a bottled beer from Belgium. There’s a wilted lettuce in the crisper drawer. Caroline does a good cupboard meal when she’s at home.

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I would be very grateful if readers could email in or comment on the blog and tell me what genres I write in. Although the events have been novelised to avoid legal action (some of the names are changed, too) the books are based on life. The material comes from emails, incriminating photos, Caroline’s diary, phone records. The result is romance, humour, suspense, and a certain amount of sex. So it’s like life when things go wrong, but you survive somehow.

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Eat as much chocolate as you like but go easy with the whiskey.